“writing about a writer’s block is better than not writing at all”
― Charles BukowskiThe Last Night of the Earth Poems

I’ve been having trouble getting posts done for the last few days. It’s gotten so bad that I can’t even think of a good title for this post. I mean, I have been writing and have several posts with several sentences written and yet, nothing I feel ready to actually publish.   Yesterday was a perfect day to blog about, and I started to, but it is still mostly incomplete.  I can honestly reflect on the last several days and recognize that I haven’t exactly had time to dedicate to writing, I mean it is the last week my kids have before going back to school and I’ve been hanging with them, my parents were in town and I have been juggling all of that, along with a new job that I love and other things I have both needed and wanted to do.  I would love to tell you that it’s been great. But I can’t.

I have knots in my neck and a tension headache that has been persisting for days and I keep thinking that next week will be better.  Another blogger who I really enjoy, Viola Cay, posted today about her kids putting things on ‘pause’, and how she has been putting her blog on pause.  I related, but in a different way.  I feel like my life is on pause since I have had a lot of other responsibilities and my stuff tends to be put aside.  Even the things I normally get pleasure from seem like work.  Does this happen to you?  I keep thinking that next week when school begins and I have a little bit of time and the start of a routine again, I will find a panacea for this chaos that I’m experiencing.  I am hoping that I will be able to write and tell you that I’ve gotten back to my Five Minutes to Me.

But if I’m being honest, and that is always my intention with this blog, I’m feeling overwhelmed.  There is a lot of really good stuff going on around me and one of the best things has been finding outlets for expressing myself.  But there is also some less than great stuff that I have to work through and this is the stuff that I would love to write about, but leaving myself vulnerable is scary, risky and not without consequence or judgment.  And this, I believe, is a big part of the reason I haven’t finished a post in days.  They are personal, and they are really what I wanted this blog to be about… finding myself as a woman and how it relates to being a mom.  And as a mom, sometimes my stuff just needs to wait- I don’t always have the ability to just take care of my needs on my own schedule and by the time I can get to them, my courage is outweighed by my need to rest.

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5 Comments

Filed under Motherhood, NaBloPoMo, Personal Growth, Uncategorized

5 responses to “

  1. Hilary - Dangled Carat

    I know how you feel…. I love to blog, and have so many posts in my head, but lately I am having trouble getting them out… I don’t have kids, but I have a very high stress job and have a lot of house guests in the summer. I long to just sit and write, but….

    • Isn’t the grass always greener and then you discover that it isn’t really at all! Ah, to have a job and house guests… for some reason I think these things would be a break from parenthood!

  2. Auntie Joyce

    Very nice blog, Lauri…I know everything will work out for you, stress is something everyone deals with, a part of our lives that we can’t live without. Know people around you will always love you!!
    Love Auntie Joyce

  3. Turia

    This post struck a nerve with me. I only recently started blogging a bit more because I realized how important it was for my mental health to make time for my own thoughts. But it is so hard sometimes (and I only have one child at the moment)- I think you are exactly right that it is easy as mothers to keep pushing our own needs down the priority list. I hope you get a chance to be risky on your blog and work through what is bothering you- I find blogging about things I’m worrying about usually helps a lot. (Here from ICLW)

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