To my beautiful boy,
I write you today, just because. It is not a special day of any kind, and yet, I felt like I needed to say some things to you. Even though you are 7 and not allowed on the computer without permission and you might never even read this, I write this to you so I can remember today.
This morning you crawled in my bed, snuggled up and asked me to scratch your back. You had horrible morning breath. You farted on my leg. It was incredibly annoying because really, I was doing important things. I was reading my horoscope and checking Facebook. My coffee was ready in the kitchen, calling to me. I was in no mood to be MOM, not yet.
You started talking about making a carnival at your brother’s preschool. Again. This topic of conversation has been constant and when I said, “I’ll think about it,” you took that as a YES and have been planning it ever since. No, I haven’t bought prize tickets yet, I haven’t asked the school if we can do it and I really don’t think an egg toss is a good idea for preschoolers.
You are the first person I ever met that I am biologically related to. You look just like me. You are loving and kind and creative. You are so smart, that it freaks me out sometimes. But most of all, like your brother, I am completely in love with you. I learn from you every day. You teach me grace, because even when I’m not in the mood to get all mommy up in your business, I do it anyway and you just love me. You don’t care if I’m having a bad day, you don’t need to know about the real, grown-up problems in my life, you just love me.
You are kind and funny and generous and mindful of others and I hope you got bits of those qualities from me. I love that you want to have a carnival for preschoolers just because you think they’d love it. But if I take any credit for those qualities, then I must also acknowledge that the things that drive me crazy are also bits from me, too. They are little reminders of my own character defects, although I prefer to call them ‘personality quirks’. I hope you grow to embrace them and not beat yourself up over them, because they are still part of you and you are beautiful.
Thank you for reminding me of this today. And stop scratching your butt. I love you to the moon and back, infinity.